My Happy Ever After

While sitting in bed on my "babymoon" I've had lots of time to think, or try to ;) One of the things I've been reflecting on is that no one can quite replace me, or you, or anyone. It's one of those things we know but don't really know. My Mom came down to my house for 5 amazing days to help me as I recover from Elyanna's birth, I thought I did everything like she does and my house would run the same as it did when I do it. But it was different, she went above and beyond and kept us going perfectly, but differently. Back home at her house there were people all over the place trying to fill her shoes and still couldn't quite match her awesomeness. Tim has done an amazing job being Mr Mom but it's still not quite the same. I'm sure there were guys at work trying to fill Tim's shoes in his absence as well. This isn't negative in any way, but reflective on how God created us all so uniquely that no one can quite replace us or what we do...

As all moms know, a birth story hardly begins when labor begins. My story begins on Monday October 19th, the day after my due date. I've had contractions here and there for at least a month but this was the day they started to become regular. Started to wake me up at night and take over my thoughts during the day. This went on all week, I started to wonder when to call the midwife to let her know something was up. It was so hard to go through each day as normal when all I wanted to do was be lazy. Thursday evening we drove to Durham to pick up a bookshelf from someone on craigslist. The original plan was to go for it Saturday, but I knew we wouldn't make it. Friday morning the 23rd I woke up with contractions around 5am and some other signs that baby would soon be here. We got in touch with the midwife and our parents, we were excited that we would finally have our little girl in our arms! I was anticipating a quick and easy labor, especially in comparison to my posterior b...

You know how most pregnancies seem like they'll never end in those last few weeks? Like you'll be pregnant forever? Somehow it doesn't feel that way for me this time around. People like to ask, "how are you feeling?" and it seems everyone I run into says that these days. Instead of giving them the answer they're expecting I smile and say, "Great! How are you?" As if I don't know they're referring to my pregnancy. But it's true! Sure my back aches, I don't sleep well and I constantly have to pee. But that's nothing compared to the blessing this little one will be in our lives. I'm not "ready" yet, I have things to do to get ready for my little one, laundry to put away, diapers to prep and a few more things to buy. Also I don't feel ready, mentally, emotionally. This may be our last baby and I want to cherish every last karate chop and wiggle, the big round belly being a symbol of a precious new life and the honor ...

What have I been up to? See the title of this post.. Last week was Asher's last few days of Kindergarten. I finally understand why all the moms feel all the feels those last few days their babies are in school. Not only was my baby becoming a FIRST GRADER (I'm way too young to have a first grader, for serious) but they were his last days in public school. We're HOMESCHOOLING for first grade and beyond! I am excited and nervous to start on this journey, we enjoyed our public school experience for the most part and I know homeschooling is going to be a lot on me but it's what's right for us :) About the mess making part, I've gotten back into my quilting projects and LOVING it. It turns out I'm not the only one, I have a few orders from friends for their own "Made with Love" quilts! I get excited all over again each time I purchase new fabric.. So I buy a little at a time to keep myself going ;) Finding complimentary fabric for some I already have g...

I let Thursday win today, I've had two really productive days and today just sucked from the get go. So I stopped fighting it, I'm sitting on the couch with my snot faced 2 yr old (literally). I have a to-do list but I've already accepted that it might not get done today. Maybe it's just easier that way. Tomorrow is a new day right? I won't tell ya'll my tale of woe from this morning or all the messes I found myself cleaning up yesterday, just know that it's amazing I did anything else except cleaning up after Laila. I am praying and pleading with the Lord that she grows past this mess making stage before our newest little one arrives. We have officially decided to start homeschooling Asher for first grade, I plan to begin in August so we can take a few weeks off when baby "marshmallow" comes. I have been concerned about the commitment and how it would affect my relationship with my little guy, if I can truly commit to this while having a 2.5 yr ...

Yesterday was filled with lots of emotional ups and downs. I didn't sleep well in anticipation of the day, I was expecting a home inspection from our landlord and waiting to hear if my midwife could bump up our first baby appointment to that morning! My feet hit the floor early and I began the grueling task of the things left uncleaned. My heart raced the closer it got to 9:30, this was the time I told the landlord she could come by after. This was also the time the midwife said she might be able to come by. My very helpful husband took our little guy off to school and came back to help me sweep, vacuum, scrub bathtubs and change air filters. Soooo much work. We spent a good bit of time on Easter preparing for this visit as well, despite how badly we wanted to rest on our day of rest. Finally at 9:45 I get a text from my midwife saying she was on her way and in less than 10 minutes she pulled into the driveway. My heart stopped when I saw a vehicle pull in as I didn't know ...

Well to be perfectly honest I have been so afraid of losing this precious baby that God has given me the privilege of carrying, I have had 2 happy healthy pregnancies and feel the odds of having a third are not as good. So with advice from a friend I am changing my mindset! Over the last few months of 2014 my husband and I discussed the timing to begin trying for another baby. I worried about our prior commitments, not wanting another May baby but certainly not wanting a Christmas baby either. I am in my cousins wedding in the fall. Finally I decided, God is the author of life, we will let Him choose our timing. So starting in January we discontinued preventing pregnancy and God chose to bless us with a baby right away! I suppose fertility is genetic because it certainly has come easily for my mom, sister and I. In my new mindset I see that this baby was chosen by God in His perfect timing to join our family and grow our hearts. I love each of my babies in a different, special wa...

Well I have joined the ladies I once thought to be crazy and chosen to birth our third child in the comfort and peace of our own home! The thought of that just sounds so wonderful and natural. The more I learn and the more perspectives I look through, I see how childbirth has been turned into being money centered instead of Mama-Centered. I've chosen my birth team and wow are they a perfect fit! The main midwife reminds me of my mom, how can I go wrong there? They get me, they believe in the same holistic approach that I do. I feel comfortable and at home with them. I even made a sweet friend from church who will be my doula and each time we talk I'm more and more excited for her to be part of this little team! I realize most people will not agree with this choice and at first Tim was a little unsure as well, but this is the choice I feel is right for our baby's birth and what I feel is right for me. We do live about 5 minutes from one of the biggest hospitals in the ci...

I have been learning a lot about myself over the last 6 months through the sermons at church, it's amazing what is revealed when you are genuinely challenged! Some things I knew, like I worry too much. Other things I had no idea, that I fear man more than God. "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both body and soul in hell." Matthew 10:28 As Pastor Chad said, "Jesus is NOT your homeboy." Over the last week I've found myself wondering what others would think of something I had to share and how it would be received. It made me very aware of how much I care what others think. In our world we are taught to be politically correct, don't offend anyone. But Jesus was very offensive, we are supposed to be like Jesus. Standing up for what is right regardless of what people think. If we could all do that it would be a different world.

We've all made poor choices, we've all known it was a poor choice and made it anyway. Some of us more than others. I've never been great about money, I blame it on poor self discipline. I have very little self control, I'll be the first to admit. But that has got to change! Hindsight is 20/20 and I'm starting to recognize a poor choice BEFORE I make it instead of after. However it's making me an indecisive person and I'm not sure I like that too much. That being said, I am making less poor choices yet the ones I make are big ones. Not a fair trade off in my opinion! I am proud of what I have learned and where I have come, I still have a lot further to go but I am excited for the future and the opportunities it brings! Yay optimism! I really want to encourage all my friends and family to seriously consider each financial choice you make very carefully. First, give back to the Lord what is His. 10% of your income. Less really is more. I have spent the ...

You know how the holidays fly by and you wonder what happened? You also say you're going to start preparing early for Christmas next year... haha! I decided it would be a good idea to travel to MD to visit family on Christmas Day. Yes I probably would have made the same choice again but it meant not only was I preparing gifts but packing and cleaning because isn't that what you do when you go away? Christmas is my favorite, I love everything about it, even the chaos. My favorite part is Christmas dinner with my family ON Christmas day. So we made the choice to drive 6 hours to be there. I don't regret it, it was as wonderful as always. Things were a little different, my mom has taken over from my Grandmom as my Grandfather's alzheimers keeps her very busy these days. My Grandfather is a "lost soul" as Grandmom puts it quite accurately. One of my sisters and I had a silly dispute a few weeks prior which led to silence between us. Another sister was 3 days ov...