The Hard Part

Genevieve Taylor

Labor finally started on Thursday 9/22 after a few false alarms over the previous weeks where I had regular yet inconsistent contractions for hours. I went to bed feeling them but had experienced that so many times before I didn’t think it was real, by 3am I couldn’t sleep through them anymore so I grabbed my phone to time them and see if there was any pattern, They were 3-5 minutes apart and a minute long but the intensity of them was still fairly mild. I got up and moved around, drank some water, ate some eggs and the contractions changed but didn’t stop. I decided to give my midwives a heads up as I was also experiencing some bleeding. Because of the bleeding they decided to come over and check things out around 6am. It was so exciting, it seemed the baby was finally coming! As I watched them set up all the supplies in my room, Tim calling into work to let them know he wouldn’t be in and contractions growing stronger it seemed my baby would be there within the day! 

Upon examination I was barely dilated (1cm) and not fully effaced, but baby and I were doing well. They asked me if I wanted them to stay, I said no I didn’t need them yet. Tim took the kids to school and picked up his things from the office to be able to work from home. I labored by myself during the day, never really reaching a point of much consistency but the contractions were ever so slowly getting more intense. Asher had a teacher workday and was so nervous, always checking on me and some acting out. I tried to rest and did manage to fall asleep here and there but the contractions became so painful I couldn’t sleep through them. When I moved around they would calm down again.

In the evening (Friday 9/23) I talked with the midwives and decided they should come and check me after the girls were settled in bed as the contractions were intensifying and I had been laboring all day. I was excited to learn I was at 6cm and mostly effaced. I literally cried happy tears having been worried all that work wouldn’t have gotten me far since it wasn’t ‘active labor’. The midwives presented me with some options to regulate my contractions and get things going, we tried some spinning babies techniques etc and began some homeopathy. This did intensify contractions and bring them closer together, I began to need Tim’s support through them. Tim was my rock through it all and jumped (sometimes literally) to be right there with me through each wave. 

It was concerning that my contractions never really reached a real pattern and when we took a break from the homeopathy they would slow down. But around midnight we decided to check and see what kind of progress I had made since I had been in labor for 25 hours. The midwife said I was 8cm and about the same effacement, this was both exciting and terrifying. I know between 8-10 is where the most intense contractions are and for me it usually lasts a lot longer than it’s supposed to. Tim and I had a moment where meeting our baby seemed SO close and so real, tears in our eyes and big smiles we talked to her and told her we were so ready to meet her.

Shortening my transition was something I had discussed with the midwives and they presented me with the option to break my water in effort to speed things up. I had a lot of hesitation with this, I’ve read so many birth stories and breaking the water is usually in the bad ones. I have heard others say it brought their baby to them within the hour. I opted to trust my midwives experience and advice and let them do it. 

Over the next 4 hours I labored with Tim’s help and support, the midwives encouraged me in many different laboring positions, verbalization and some time in the shower in effort to help me relax. We talked about how I don’t usually feel the urge to push and that when I was complete I wanted to push anyway to keep from prolonging things. I wanted minimal cervical checks but by hour 27 I told them forget it, I need to know when I’m ready to try and push. They warned me about the risks of checking too much after the water had been broken and about potentially being disappointed. We discussed how we needed to decide what to do based on the outcome of being checked. Transferring to the hospital was brought up as an option because of how long I had labored, my uterus being worn out as well as me, now being awake for 2 nights. Somewhere in those hours I had the thought that if I had been in a hospital I would have caved and asked for an epidural. While we were discussing what to do based on how far along I was I had another intense contraction that brought on that rectal pressure everyone tells me is the urge to push. I told the midwives I had my answer, I think we might be close. I know I felt it, but somehow in 4 hours I hadn’t changed at all. I had labored in the most intense and painful stage for 4 hours with no progress. The reality of that didn’t hit me until later, I just knew I had already exceeded my own expectations of how long I could endure this and pain relief was oh so tempting. 

Transferring to a hospital felt like giving up, admitting defeat, swallowing my pride and losing supermom status. After a natural birth you feel like you can conquer the world, it’s the most empowering feeling I’ve ever experienced and I was so excited to feel that one last time. Transferring also meant double medical bills, leaving my big kids at home in my MIL’s care, all the poking and prodding and interrupted sleep that comes along with a hospital stay. Not to mention fighting for those unpopular preferences for us, like no eye ointment or shots.

Transferring to a hospital also meant relief and rest. It wasn’t a decision Tim had to consider when I asked him what he thought we should do.